Simple Sixes: A Guide for Parents Part 4 of 6

Simple Sixes: Part 4 of 6 Involve Children in Goal Setting
Setting goals fosters and enhances ownership, knowledge, skills, power, pride, organization, self-confidence and is incredibly motivating!! In order to achieve goals we need to do the following:
1. Set an attainable and reasonable goal
2. Write out the steps for reaching the goal
3. Set a time frame or make a time line
4. Check progress (evaluate)
5. Implement goals and CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We can set long term goals or short term goals. We need to help our children set reasonable goals and remember to celebrate and acknowledge accomplishments. Children with realistic goals, along with a solid plan feel capable and their self esteem rises dramatically. Some examples of goals could be learning to ride a bike or school projects. When you go home tonight ask your child one thing s/he would like to accomplish. Then write out the steps,
Set a time frame, check progress and celebrate!!

Simple Sixes: A Guide for Parents Part 3 of 6

HOME ZONE:
Physical safety is so essential that without it, the development of a strong and healthy self esteem is extremely limited. Children need to develop a sense of assuredness that there are people that they can count on. A loving atmosphere is essential for all family members!!! One of the most fundamental ways we demonstrate our love for our children is by giving them a safe and secure place
that is uniquely theirs. Let's remember that we can not shield our children from all the "negative" occurrences from the outside world, thus, we must make the home a safe zone. One way we can achieve this is by banning put-downs! We see this when older children siblings put down younger siblings. You can say to older siblings " suppose you are 5 and someone called you dumb--how would you feel?"
Also, as parents we need to monitor our put downs to our children. We should teach our children that we expect them to "pull each other up" , not bring them down. When you hear the devastating words " you're dumb" label that IMMEDIATELY as a put down the INSTANT you hear it. Calling an unkind name makes a child want to continue that behavior. Remember I wrote about modeling? We need to remember to model positive speaking and behavior. Try it next time your child spills milk or tracks snow in the house.
The deeper the roots of home zone self esteem, the better equipped children are to behave in school and interact with peers. Their inner feelings and self worth will be their guides of their choice of friends. If you see that a particular friend is a positive influence on your child ENCOURAGE it!
It is so clear that this skill trickles into many facets of our children's lives!!!!!

Simple Sixes: A Guide for Parents

Simple Sixes: A Guide for Parents Part Two of Six
Lovable and Capable:
Children need to to shown and told that we love them unconditionally. They need to be shown and told that they are capable of mastering tasks, problem solving and decision making. This is both verbal and non-verbal. Non-Verbal means "wordless messages"- you are engaging in eye contact. Other examples are a wink, nod,smile, hug or thumbs up. Let's remember that actions speak louder than words! Verbal means we are offering specific encouragement and praise. We reinforce their efforts in trying to achieve a goal. We teach and model complimenting each other. We praise them and follow up with a positive statement. For example: You can say " I like your choice of the red shorts with the yellow tank top. You are great at picking out your clothes! "
This week try to watch yourself enhance your child's feelings of "lovable and capable"!!!