Healthy self esteem is the single most important skill a child can develop to thrive in society. Simply, self esteem means being proud of ourselves. When kids feel secure "inside and outside" of themselves they can cope with life's many challenges.
When we help kids build self esteem we are teaching them to take pride of themselves, feel great about themselves, trust their emotions, celebrate achievements and to be their best "inside and outside".
As a reminder, self esteem fluctuates in children, because it is affected by their experiences, judgements and perceptions. As parents and teachers we have to be on the lookout for signs of both low and high self esteem.
There are no magic formulas for raising children with positive self esteem! However, this blog offers a guide. We must keep in mind this is a lifelong developmental process whose roots are established in early childhood.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Reading List for Parents
Suggested reading list for Parents
Berkenkamp, L. & S. Atkins. Because I Said So! Family
Squabbles and How to Handle Them. Chicago: Nomad
Press, 2003.
Canfield, Jack. The Success Principles: How to Get From
Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. New York:
Harper Collins Publishers, 2005.
Durfee, Cliff. Feel Alive With Love: Have A Heart Talk.
California: Live, Love, Laugh, 1979.
Hartley-Brewen, Elizabeth. Talking to Tweens. Mass:
DaCaop Press, 2005.
Looman, Diane. Full Esteem Ahead. California:
H J Kramer, Inc., 1994.
Ramsey, Robert. 501 Ways to Boost Your Child’s
Self Esteem. Florida: Tribune Publishers, 1994.
Rogers, Fred. You Are Special. New York: Penguin Books,
1994.
Youngs, Bettie. The 6 Vital Ingredients of Self Esteem and
How to Develop Them in Your Child. New York:
Macmillan, 1991.
Berkenkamp, L. & S. Atkins. Because I Said So! Family
Squabbles and How to Handle Them. Chicago: Nomad
Press, 2003.
Canfield, Jack. The Success Principles: How to Get From
Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. New York:
Harper Collins Publishers, 2005.
Durfee, Cliff. Feel Alive With Love: Have A Heart Talk.
California: Live, Love, Laugh, 1979.
Hartley-Brewen, Elizabeth. Talking to Tweens. Mass:
DaCaop Press, 2005.
Looman, Diane. Full Esteem Ahead. California:
H J Kramer, Inc., 1994.
Ramsey, Robert. 501 Ways to Boost Your Child’s
Self Esteem. Florida: Tribune Publishers, 1994.
Rogers, Fred. You Are Special. New York: Penguin Books,
1994.
Youngs, Bettie. The 6 Vital Ingredients of Self Esteem and
How to Develop Them in Your Child. New York:
Macmillan, 1991.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Simple Sixes Part 6 of 6 Reinforcing Responsibility
Simple Sixes Part 6 of 6 Reinforcing Responsibility
The most important step in creating success in a child's life is teaching them to take responsibility for their lives. We model and teach that the quality of life we are experiencing is a result of how we are responding to the EVENTS rather than the EVENTS themselves.
Jack Canfield writes about the formula E + R = O. Events plus response equals outcome. According to Canfield, what most adults and children do is when they do not get the outcome they want they blame the event. As parents and teachers we must guide them out of blaming and complaining and into taking responsibility. This is not easy for them and us!! This is not easy because we all have been conditioned to blame our neighbors, teachers, friends, bad luck, the car breaking, the weather and the economy. It is difficult to look at where the problem is -OURSELVES.
Here's an example of my blaming-- this happened when I was writing this piece for a workshop." Charlie (my dog) is bothering me to go out and I can not finish this section!" If I had taken full responsibility, I would have taken him for a long walk before I started. Then he would be sleeping and I could be typing away.
I highly recommend reading Jack Canfield's book The Success Principles as a guide.
If anyone has an example of Reinforcing Responsibility, please feel free to post it and be a follower.
The most important step in creating success in a child's life is teaching them to take responsibility for their lives. We model and teach that the quality of life we are experiencing is a result of how we are responding to the EVENTS rather than the EVENTS themselves.
Jack Canfield writes about the formula E + R = O. Events plus response equals outcome. According to Canfield, what most adults and children do is when they do not get the outcome they want they blame the event. As parents and teachers we must guide them out of blaming and complaining and into taking responsibility. This is not easy for them and us!! This is not easy because we all have been conditioned to blame our neighbors, teachers, friends, bad luck, the car breaking, the weather and the economy. It is difficult to look at where the problem is -OURSELVES.
Here's an example of my blaming-- this happened when I was writing this piece for a workshop." Charlie (my dog) is bothering me to go out and I can not finish this section!" If I had taken full responsibility, I would have taken him for a long walk before I started. Then he would be sleeping and I could be typing away.
I highly recommend reading Jack Canfield's book The Success Principles as a guide.
If anyone has an example of Reinforcing Responsibility, please feel free to post it and be a follower.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Simple Sixes: A Guide for Parents Part 5 of 6 Respect their Opinions and Feelings
Simple Sixes:A Guide for Parents Part 5 of 6- RESPECT THEIR FEELINGS AND OPINIONS
As parents we must always honor and respect our children's opinions and feelings. Healthy families are careful to encourage an atmosphere where every ones personal opinions are respected, even if those opinions are not universally shared. The term we will use is called empathizing. Empathizing is communicating the understanding of someones feelings and thoughts. This appears very obvious and simple. However, studies show that children with high self esteem come from families that encourage freedom of expression. However, surprisingly enough we also found how hard it is to practice and develop this skill. It is EASY when their opinions reflect ours. When our children's opinions are radically different than ours we tend to react and judge.
Children who feel free to express themselves without fear, rejection, or extreme judgement are happier, confident, and more socially secure.
Two examples of empathizing could look and sound like this. Child says "this math problem is to hard. I can't do it, I hate math." Parent responds: "It is frustrating, huh, let's try it together!"
This shows that we are relating to the feeling of frustration.
Another common problem may be being left out in the lunchroom. Now let's empathize with that feeling. Parent says" I can imagine what you are feeling. I had a very similar experience like that when I was in school, and it made me feel the same way also, let me tell you what happened to me.
Let's try to practice and develop this skill!!!
As parents we must always honor and respect our children's opinions and feelings. Healthy families are careful to encourage an atmosphere where every ones personal opinions are respected, even if those opinions are not universally shared. The term we will use is called empathizing. Empathizing is communicating the understanding of someones feelings and thoughts. This appears very obvious and simple. However, studies show that children with high self esteem come from families that encourage freedom of expression. However, surprisingly enough we also found how hard it is to practice and develop this skill. It is EASY when their opinions reflect ours. When our children's opinions are radically different than ours we tend to react and judge.
Children who feel free to express themselves without fear, rejection, or extreme judgement are happier, confident, and more socially secure.
Two examples of empathizing could look and sound like this. Child says "this math problem is to hard. I can't do it, I hate math." Parent responds: "It is frustrating, huh, let's try it together!"
This shows that we are relating to the feeling of frustration.
Another common problem may be being left out in the lunchroom. Now let's empathize with that feeling. Parent says" I can imagine what you are feeling. I had a very similar experience like that when I was in school, and it made me feel the same way also, let me tell you what happened to me.
Let's try to practice and develop this skill!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)