Simple Sixes: A Guide for Parents

Simple Sixes: A Guide for Parents:
This is part one of six for parents. PARENTS AS ROLE MODELS
Let's remember that when you as a parent are responsive to your child's needs you are laying the foundation for their beliefs in their own worth. These simple sixes are a road map or guide for parents.
PARENTS AS ROLE MODELS:
Children learn through imitation(modeling). Parents are the most influential model a child has. Self esteem is not a one time thing we learn, it fluctuates. Sometimes, as parents, we have to fine tune OUR self esteem in order to model it for others. This means we have to pay close attention to OUR self esteem! We make sure we are talking, acting, and communicating positively. We help others without expecting anything back. We model persistence by keeping at a task. We talk about people we admire. We model a "can do" attitude. We remember that we were once children. Today, take time to watch how you model self esteem!

Your Child's Motto: I NEVER Forget that I am Awesome!

Recently, I wrote about the characteristics of low self esteem. As a reminder, self esteem fluctuates in children, because it is affected by a child's experiences, judgements and perceptions. As parents we have to be on the lookout for signs of both low and high self esteem. Listed below is a portrait of a child that has healthy self esteem.
1. Can set and achieve goals
2. Can share
3. Accepts challenges
4. Accepts advice without viewing it as criticism
5. Comfortable alone with self
6. Optimistic and ambitious
7. Does not make excuses for mistakes
8. Does good for others without expecting anything in return
9. Happy with self just the way s/he is
10. Equipped to cope with adversity
11. Comfortable in social settings
12. Feels lovable and capable
13. Willingness to participate
14. Compassion for self and others
15. Takes responsibility for actions
16. Can do many things for her/his self, but asks for help when needed

Self esteem is something we learn from our parents, which means it can be taught! When we help children build self esteem we are teaching them to take pride in themselves. This week post the motto: I NEVER forget that I am Awesome! in a visible place for your child to see many times during the day and watch self esteem grow!!!!!!!!!!

Promoting Self Esteem: A Daily Memo

DESIGNING YOUR PARENTING PHILOSOPHY;

A philosophy can guide your actions and words, thus enabling you to be an effective role model for your child/ren. There are no right or wrong philosophies- what ever works best for you. Here are a few I created:

1. I will teach my children responsibility. I will listen to their voices and feelings.

2. I will tell and show my child/ren that they are loved unconditionally, I will teach and model the concept of gratitude.

3. I will help my child build pride in himself, feel great about himself, and celebrate his accomplishments.

4. I will foster my daughter's self esteem. I will help her believe in herself, I will strive to guide her develop her own talents.

Let's remember a strong philosophy is the back bone of how you will act, think, and speak! It is the way you will be a role model for your family.

If anyone has a philosophy they would like to post here feel free!

Promoting Self Esteem: A Daily Memo

Self esteem fluctuates in children, because it is affected by a child's experiences, judgements, and perceptions. As parents we have to be on the look out for signs of a healthy self esteem and low self esteem. Listed are characteristics of low self esteem.
1. wants to people please
2. can not accept a compliment
3. needs constant attention
4. does not feel safe at home
5. lacks a clear sense of values
6. pressures themselves to be the best
7. self blames
8. fears failure
9. not comfortable in social settings
10. compares themselves to others
11. sets unreasonable goals
12. always feels they are being judged
Let's remember that self esteem is a life long developmental process whose roots are developed in early childhood. Be on the look out for low self esteem and turn it around!

Tip-Wall of Fame

WALL OF FAME:
Our homes should display our children's accomplishments. Our walls and refrigerator are such places to display art work, awards, spelling tests, and trophies. Your screen saver can proudly display photos of graduation or any "proud moment." My diploma's and teaching awards are by my desk, where I work every day. Each family member is good at something. Discover it, frame it-make the children famous-at home! As children grow they can see years of accomplishments at a quick glance! This is also great for older children, as they see years of accomplishments at a glance. This gives them a boost when their self worth needs a lift!

Friday's Tip

GRATITUDE LIST:
Beginning a gratitude list is another tradition that will last a life time. You and your child can start a separate gratitude journal or just keep a running list of all the things the family is grateful for. It can be posted on the refrigerator, in a separate notebook, or just said orally. 3-5 things are enough. Here is a sample of my gratitude entry:
1. Spring rain
2. Birds chirping
3. Sitting on the dock watching the sunset
4. My health
5. Chicken and linguine
This simple tradition is a great way to turn around negative "talk" to positive!

Thursday's Tip

DAILY JOURNAL:
Keeping a Journal is another life long activity! You can give journals, notebooks, colored pencils, and markers as gifts at Christmas, Valentine's Day, birthdays, and before vacations- for a travel journal companion so children can document the trip with words, pictures, and photos. All journals should be kept year after year- do not throw them away. Journals can document and measure growth. DO NOT corrrect spelling or handwriting or ANYTHING at all! This is for the child so we must respect privacy! Journals are important because:
1. Children's lives are important and special enough that we believe it needs to be recorded.
2. A private journal is self-empowerment because it is an outlet for emotions.
3. A private journal is a place for opinions and self-reflection.
4. A private journal helps children cope with difficulties in life because they see problems in print- very powerful!
Here's an example from my family about a journal entry. My son commented after looking back from the beginning of the summer to the end of the summer-" Wow! now I can ride my 2 wheel bike!! I'm going to put that in my journal!!"
That statement shows growth and pride!

Why not get a journal for everyone one in the family and begin a wonderful tradition?

Wednesday's Tip

MAKING TIME JUST FOR THE TWO OF YOU:
Making dates with our children sends a powerful message that s/he is worthy of our time and UNDIVIDED ATTENTION. Children feel a sense of how much we love and honor their uniqueness, especially during one-on-one time. This tradition is even more crucial with families with many siblings. Dates can be once a week or once a month depending on your schedule and how many children you have. You take turns deciding what to do and where to go. Activities can be as simple as going for a hike or a movie - or as complex as starting a book club. This activity harnesses esteem for the RELATIONSHIP! Every time you do something that enhances self worth, you are raising their self esteem!
Give this a try and watch the self esteem grow!

Tuesday's Tip

Today's Tip is called Compliment Giving Time:

It is important to to teach our children how and when to receive and give compliments. Teaching children to praise each other is part of feeling lovable and capable. Let's remember how we feel when we receive a compliment- it makes us smile and elevates our spirits! For example, as a parent you can say: "I really like the way you take care of Charlie, you always feed him on time, give him fresh water, and take him for long walks. You take excellent care of the dog!"

On the other side of the coin, children can be taught and encouraged to give compliments. Teaching children to give and receive compliments is an important social skill. Eye contact is critical when giving a compliment! You always respond with THANK YOU! You can start by having your child give you 2 compliments per day. This should then branch off to siblings complimenting each other.

Try this simple activity and watch self esteem grow!!!!!

Monday's Tip

There are many simple and easy activities parents and children can do together at home to promote self esteem. The Bravo! List helps stop negative talk and accentuates the positive. Occasionally, children come home from school with a list of things that went "wrong" during the day. This activity helps combat that. A Bravo! List is simply a list of things that went "right". You can list 5 things each day that went "right". They can be posted in the kitchen, written as a journal entry, or just verbally discussed during dinner. For example: 1. I shared with the new boy/girl in school today. 2. I tried out for the school play. 3. I set the table without being told. 4. I waited for my turn when the teacher was talking to a parent. 5. I was ready for school early and I practiced my spelling words while I waited for the school bus.
This list is a real booster for children! Also, parents can also share their Bravo! List.
I hope this tip is helpful!